and again i am faced with the same dilemma that i always face when things are starting to be too much, which is answering the question: When is it enough?
i am surviving, like i always do. but you so know i'll keep hanging on until they decide not to keep me anymore. it will be their choice, not mine, no matter how much earlier i decide i can't take any more. just like old times.
it is always the same story, i think. the same vicious cycle. of you having to prove yourself. people approving. you making mistakes, them beginning to make up stories about you to the point where you are asked to leave without having a chance to clearly explain yourself. rinse, lather and repeat. only this time, it really will be part of my resume.
some days i wish i can just live under a rock, or actually BE a rock just so i don't have to deal with messy relationships that clearly will lead to nowhere in no time.
the holiday season is fast approaching, and i'm so excited :) it will be my first Christmas as a (hopefully this will still be true) gainfully employed person, and i am looking forward to all the fun i will be having (regardless of whether or not i am employed. hahaha)
you know how i love watching stuff to get music to listen to? well, i watched the first two episodes of the new season of Gossip Girl, and there was this scene in the first episode where Blair gets down from the jitney and Chuck is waiting for her. cue emo music. cue my brain working on overdrive because i absolutely friggin love the song now. so if you loved the song like i did, the song is by a punk band called Motion City Soundtrack, and the track is called Fell In Love Without You, the acoustic version. i so love the refrain which goes:
In memory of what we used to call in love
Only time will tell, if violins will swell
In memory of what we used to call in love.
Okay, back to work for me!
P.S. to everyone who watches Project Runway USA, is anyone else as annoyed by Kenley as I am? that girl is so full of herself! and as for the Philippine version, i loved how Rajo was turning bright red with rage this week cuz of Eli's superfantabulous mess of a dress. hahahahaha