Thursday, August 2, 2007

only because i've been thinking about it for too long

dear you,

i don't know if you know who you are, but i hope you do. please stop pretending we're still friends and that little episode you had a few months back meant nothing because you know what? it did mean something. friends don't lash out at friends just because they had a bad day, or they made wrong decisions. you know what friends actually do? at the very least, they ASK for the full story before they blow their top, which i should say you have never done for me. i wish i could say i forgave you or that i've forgotten, but i have been cursed with an extremely good memory, and a tendency to remember every shitty little fight you picked with me, and every small injustice you did to me and i'm sorry, but i cannot have friends who act like poison in my life anymore. i've learned enough to realize that though we had a lot of fun times, you will never change. deep down you will always be that "friend" who got mad at me before she found out the truth, several times. plus you had the gall to insinuate that i was the reason for the gap in our friendship. what the heck was that for? a relationship goes two ways, y'know, and while i do admit some fault, the blame isn't entirely mine because i can't keep running back every time you said you were sorry and then blamed me for everything that went wrong when we fought. i have stood quietly back while you ranted and raged but no more. this time it is really over. i will talk to you when necessary, and someday i may find it in myself to forgive you for all the shit you gave me, but for now please stay away, because i can't talk to you without getting mad, and i really don't like getting mad. it is a waste of energy, energy i'd much rather expend on friends who DO care.


---wow. that WAS cathartic.


other times ... said...

scream it out, dear

jane lu said...

thanks. haha i have been screaming. and im done now. *bow* hahaha